Menu, allergies and seating plan for a wedding abroad

Short answer

Ask for menu choices and allergies in the same RSVP as yes or no, per guest rather than per household. Put the answers in one list for the kitchen, in a language the kitchen works in, with every guest's name and table. In the EU a caterer must be able to tell you which of the 14 allergens in the EU food information regulation a dish contains, even when the food is not prepacked. Outside the EU the country's own rules apply, so ask the venue in writing. Do the seating plan once you know who is coming, and ask the venue for a floor plan with measurements and a list of the tables it actually has before you seat anyone.

At home you can call the restaurant, drive over one afternoon and point. Abroad you often have a kitchen that speaks another language, a venue you have only seen in photos and guests from several families, sometimes several countries. What makes or breaks the dinner is rarely the food. It is whether the right detail reaches the right person in time. This guide goes through the order: what to ask your guests, what the kitchen needs, what the venue must be able to answer, and how to do the seating plan from a distance.

Collect menu choices and allergies in the RSVP, not afterwards

Every question you send in a separate email after the RSVP is a question some guests will never answer. So put it all in one reply:

• Are you coming? Yes or no, and who in the party, by name. Children with their ages, if the kitchen does children's portions.
• Menu choice, if you offer one. Ask the venue first what the kitchen can cook in two or three versions on the same night, so you do not promise guests something it cannot do.
• Allergies and dietary needs per person, as free text. Ask guests to write what they cannot eat, not just a label: "nuts, including traces" tells the kitchen more than "nut allergy".
• Allergy or preference. Let guests separate what makes them ill from what they would rather not eat. The kitchen handles the two differently, and it should be allowed to.

In our planning tool, Our wedding, you write the menu course by course and add options, and each guest picks one in their reply on your wedding website. Choices and allergies are counted up for you, and you get a kitchen list to copy or print.

Give the kitchen a list it can read, in its own language

A kitchen that receives ten forwarded emails and a screenshot will get something wrong. Give it one list:

• Numbers per dish, for every part of the menu.
• Every allergy and dietary need with a name and a table, ideally with a seat number if the meal is served at the table. That is how the waiter knows which plate goes to whom.
• The kitchen's language. Ask the venue which language the kitchen works in. Write the allergies in that language, or in English with the local word next to it. Avoid abbreviations and codes of your own.
• One recipient. Send the list to one contact person and ask for written confirmation that the kitchen has it.
• One person on the night. Ask who holds the list on the wedding evening and who guests can go to with a question about the food.

If a guest has a severe allergy, it is worth the guest speaking to the kitchen or the coordinator directly before the dinner. You are the hosts, not the go-between for everything.